Life is about relationships, the rest is just details

"Life is about relationships, the rest is just details"

When I first heard this statement, I was taken aback. I heard it at a marriage seminar called the DNA of relationships. It is from a book by the same name written by Gary Smalley and Robert Paul. (I highly recommend both the book and the conference). I was processing the statement and my first reaction was of disbelief; I thought...is that true? After a few minutes of consideration, the Lord brought to mind the time that Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was. His answer is recorded in Matthew 22:34-38: The Greatest Commandment Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." I realized that the statement about relationships was true. Love is a key component of every relationship. We exist because God created us for relationship with him. He also created Eve because it "was not good that man should be alone" In addition to our relationship with Him as God He wants us to have relationship with each other. In fact Jesus said that all the law and the prophets hang on the two great commandments. When I reflected on the importance of relationships I was a bit sad because I know that I lived a major part of my life not being that concerned about them. Either with God or with people. In fact I generally avoided them. It seemed so difficult to maintain them and at times they were downright messy. Seeking God was not a high priority or even something I thought was available. In general It required too much time and vulnerability to seek relationships. Dealing with people meant navigating other peoples personalities, attitudes and quirks. And who likes conflict or rejection? It seemed much easier to me to skate thru life avoiding deep connection with anyone. That way you could avoid being hurt or entangled. I know I lived that way for many years. So what changed you may ask.? It was God's involvement of course. The difference for me was that the 2nd greatest commandment depended upon the 1rst. God wooed me and rescued me and I fell deeply in love with him., I really began to pursue him and value my relationship with him. As that relationship developed, it slowly transformed my heart toward others. Over time God has given me true compassion and care for other people. This was not my natural inclination, but a response to his love of me that changed me. I thank God that I now have several deep relationships in my life. I am also more caring and responsive to people I encounter. I still have a long way to go, but I now understand the value God places on how we treat one another. Unfortunately, I know that many people have no deep relationships, but life without them is dry and barren.

God has so much more for all of us. Relationships are a big part of the more. It is worth the risk to truly love God with our whole heart and other people as ourselves! God created us as beings who desperately need him and others. We are wired that way. If you are living a life of isolation or simply lacking depth in your relationships, don't try to fix that without first going to God. You must begin by seeking relationship with God first. You will never be disappointed in him. He wants you to live life to the full and the fullness of life is experienced in relationships.

We are in a season of turmoil in this country. This is placing severe strain on relationships. Lets all keep our focus on loving God and others. Keep a watchful eye for those who could use an encouraging word or just be there to listen to them and care. Relationships are a messy business, but it is worth it!

Remember, Life is about relationships, the rest is just details.

"I Love You"

I was a Christian for over 25 years before I really began to pursue an intimate relationship with Jesus. I read the bible almost everyday. I prayed. I went to church every week. I tithed. I was involved in many small groups as participant and leader. I was even in a Praise and worship band for 5 years. While these things were valuable and they helped me keep a focus on my faith they did not lead me into a close walk with God. In many ways these activities were a replacement for an active and vibrant relationship with my maker. I knew that as a born again believer I had access to the very throne of God (Heb 4:16) but I didn't know what that meant in practical terms. About 9 years ago while leading a group of men through the book Wild at Heart by John Eldredge and listening to the Wild at Heart boot camp CD, John challenged the men to seek God and to ask Him what he thought of them. It seemed like a dangerous question. He also warned that it would not be easy to get into a posture of being able to hear an answer. Pretty much everything (The world , flesh and devil) will fight against this pursuit of God's heart. Indeed, it was extremely difficult! In fact it took me about 30 days of seeking him every morning before I heard an answer. This is how it went. I would get up very early every morning to pray and seek God. Without fail, every time I would try to turn my attention directly to God to ask the question, I would have some distracting thought (I gotta get the oil changed ETC) or I would hear a noise in the house (at 5am???) the phone would ring. I would think about TV shows and I don't even watch TV. I would start praying for someone else instead of asking God the question at hand. I fought off sleepiness every morning and many times fell asleep in the middle of a prayer. you name it, and it was all at play. The first few days amounted to about 5 minutes of total prayer time each day. each day this time increased and it did get better. I didn't even try to ask anything of God for many days. I suppose that secretly some of it was that I was afraid of the answer I might hear or even worse that he wouldn't answer at all. There were several times I asked and heard nothing. Other times I heard bad things. I did know that God would never condemn me, tempt me or be unkind, so I knew that when I heard those things that it was the enemy speaking. All I can say is that those first 30 days were brutal but it was well worth it! After 30 days of frustration and distraction I learned some things from other people that I employed to help me minimize the difficulties and help me get into God's presence. (I will list some of these things at the end of this blog) about day 31 I was ready. I was on my knees and facing God. I was engaged and in spirit and in my imagination I was kneeling before him. It was Jesus, not the Father who was in front of me. I asked him Lord, what do you think of me? He said softly and directly to my heart.... "I Love You" I knew it was Him speaking! This absolutely wrecked me. I broke down into sobs of joy! I mean I knew he loved me. He died for me. But this was not just knowing about His love, this was knowing His love personally! Since that day my life has not been the same. Hearing Him speak changes everything! That is enough for this post. I will share more of my spiritual journey in future posts. For those of you interesting in seeking God's voice, I highly recommend it.

It is available to all to whom Jesus is Lord.

Here are few things that help me in my prayer time and also in hearing God's voice:

* Praying out loud. It helps with minimizing distractions
* Praying (or singing) the psalms.
* Be real when interacting with God. Take off the mask(s)
* Confess known sins and ask for forgiveness
* Praise and worship before prayer time
* Leave time to listen to what God has to say. Be still and quiet
* If you know you are going to be sleepy, bring a coffee or other hot drink to sip on

OK is this intimacy thing with God legit?

Good question. If you are asking that question then we are already at a good starting point. The big area we are moving into here is listening prayer. Learning to have a conversational relationship with God. This means that instead of just talking to God, we give Him a chance to speak to us. I know that many Christians do not believe this to be part of our faith but it is clearly something we see in the Bible. And why would God do so much to restore us into His family and give us the Holy Spirit and not speak with us. It doesn't even make sense.

First of all I want to suggest a couple of good books on hearing the voice of God; The first one is Walking with God by John Eldredge and the second one is Hearing God: Developing a Conversational Relationship with God by Dallas Willard. Dallas deals with the more controversial aspects and the objections. I encourage you to read them even before you begin listening prayer. I am not going to deal with the controversy in this post. I want to encourage you that it is real and it is available and it is amazing. I will say that I understand the fear that folks have when people start "hearing from God" Many people do wacky things under this premise. However, you can just as easily start a cult using the bible. So that is not a catch all either.

Caution: In order to move forward in this journey it is imperative that you are a true Christian who has been born again. This means that you have the Spirit of Jesus in your heart. It is also important to know the bible and understand key Christian doctrines. It is also important to have a friend who is a mature believer and who has experience in this area and who knows you personally and is mentoring you through. More about how my own walk looks in the next post....

The American Dream is not the gospel

Before I broach this topic, I want to be clear. I love the United States. I believe it is still the best place to live in the world and her original values were clearly based upon the truths of God's word. However, I think some folks are confused about a few things. I think that because of the conservative movement the American Dream principals have slowly supplanted the true gospel message. I am not saying that conservatism is bad. I am saying that just because it is conservative does not make it Christian. OK here is a recap of the gospel. God created man for Himself to love and be glorified. Man sinned through disobedience and broke the holy relationship. God sent Jesus to die (and to be resurrected) the death man should have died for the benefit of all men who believe and the holy relationship with God was restored through Jesus. This is truly good news! (gospel means good news) Through Christ we are set free from bondage to sin and we are wrenched away from Satan's kingdom and we are now in God's family. This is the best possible news anyone could ever hear. However in the American culture many have replaced the true gospel with a message of morality, freedom and the pursuit of happiness. They are not the same. While all of those things are not necessarily bad, it is not the gospel. The gospel is the simple, radical, transforming and powerful truth about Jesus Christ. So be careful not to blend these ideas in your mind.

The hope of America is not the American dream of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, it is the gospel.

John 14
The Way, the Truth, and the Life 1 “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. 2 In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. 4 And where I go you know, and the way you know.”5 Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, and how can we know the way?” 6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.

Is this all there is?

I think many American Christians are secretly asking this question: "Is this really all there is to the Christian Life?" They have believed and received Christ as Lord and savior and they know they are going to heaven. However, the life they are living may be rather mundane and or they may be losing the battle with sin and collapsing under the world's pressures. What they experience every Sunday and what they see in most other Christians is.... Uhhh... not very inspiring. But is this the Christian life as depicted in the Bible? I don't think so. I challenge you to look back at the book of Acts and Paul's letters written for the early churches. It appears to me like it was really wild and not very boring. Actually it was quite exciting and dangerous. God was showing up with power and it was rather chaotic. In fact the scriptures said that they were turning the world upside down. What we see consistently see in scripture is that when the gospel is preached, people are radically changed by it. Many times when the gospel was presented it was rejected and those who preached it were hated and killed. Believe it or not this is still happening today in other countries. The gospel is radically changing lives and many are killed for preaching it. Te answer to the question is Yes there is more but in order to find that life it begins with a radical love relationship with Jesus.

Start there and you will begin the journey to the More

Acts 17:5-7 (New King James Version)
5 But the Jews who were not persuaded, becoming envious, took some of the evil men from the marketplace, and gathering a mob, set all the city in an uproar and attacked the house of Jason, and sought to bring them out to the people. 6 But when they did not find them, they dragged Jason and some brethren to the rulers of the city, crying out, “These who have turned the world upside down have come here too. 7 Jason has harbored them, and these are all acting contrary to the decrees of Caesar, saying there is another king—Jesus.”

Are you ready?

I think the Bible is really clear that we dont really pursue God without Him first placing this desire within us. He woos us and he conveys to us in many ways that He desires a closer relationship. Are you feeing the tug to know Him more deeply? A close and personal relationship is available to anyone who has been born anew and has a deposit of the Holy Spirit in them. I can boldly say that if you pursue Him wholeheartedly you will not be dissapointed

Luke 10:21-23 (New King James Version)
21 In that hour Jesus rejoiced in the Spirit and said, “I thank You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and prudent and revealed them to babes. Even so, Father, for so it seemed good in Your sight. 22 All things have been delivered to Me by My Father, and no one knows who the Son is except the Father, and who the Father is except the Son, and the one to whom the Son wills to reveal Him.”